Election Outcomes and Emotional Resilience: Managing Anxiety & Grief

TL;DR: The outcome of tonight’s election may bring feelings of anxiety, grief, or tension, especially as we navigate conversations with those who may not share our beliefs. Here are ways to manage these intense emotions, approach difficult discussions, and consider when (and if) a relationship is worth preserving.

Election Night Emotions: Anxiety and Grief

Election nights are inherently stressful, and research shows that political news, especially during contentious elections, can trigger heightened anxiety and grief. Sharon McMahon, a former government teacher known for her nonpartisan education on civics, emphasizes that the flood of information around election outcomes can feel overwhelming. If you’re feeling a mix of dread, worry, or grief, consider these strategies to help find calm:

1. Limit News Exposure: Resist the urge to check updates constantly. Try designating specific times for news updates rather than following a continuous feed. Sharon McMahon often advises that too much exposure amplifies anxiety without providing new, actionable information.

2. Focus on Actions You Can Control: Mel Robbins suggests that we alleviate anxiety by directing our energy toward what we can control. Participate in meaningful ways that resonate with you, whether through volunteering, donating, or having constructive conversations with people around you. When we focus on constructive action, we’re more likely to feel empowered than overwhelmed.

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Brené Brown emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, especially during challenging times. Give yourself grace and space to feel whatever arises. If you’re struggling to process emotions, try journaling, connecting with friends, or even stepping away for a moment to ground yourself.

4. Seek Calm Through Grounding Techniques: Mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or grounding exercises can help reduce feelings of anxiety. A simple breathing exercise—breathe in for four counts, hold for four, breathe out for four, and repeat—can help you reconnect to the present.

Navigating Political Conversations with Grace and Empathy

In the aftermath of an election, conversations with those who see things differently can be challenging. Rather than avoiding or engaging in a heated debate, here are constructive ways to approach these discussions:

1. Lead with Curiosity, Not Judgment: Dr. Brené Brown, in Braving the Wilderness, talks about the power of “people in,” choosing to listen deeply even when it feels uncomfortable. If someone shares an opinion different from yours, approach with a spirit of curiosity. Questions like “Can you tell me more about what led you to that perspective?” can open up understanding rather than shutting it down.

2. Establish Boundaries for Conversations: Not every conversation is worth engaging in, and that’s okay. If the topic becomes too intense or frustrating, it’s okay to say, “Let’s agree to disagree on this one,” or “I’d rather focus on what connects us.” Boundaries help protect your energy and maintain respectful connections, even if opinions differ.

3. Know When to Walk Away: Mel Robbins reminds us that walking away doesn’t mean we’re losing; it’s often about self-care. If a conversation begins to drain you, give yourself permission to step back and revisit it later if necessary. Conversations about political differences can be intense, so make space for time-outs if needed.

4. Find Common Ground: Sharon McMahon emphasizes that many of us share similar core values, even when we disagree on policies. Focusing on shared values, like kindness, family, or fairness, can ease the tension and build a bridge of understanding. This doesn’t mean agreement, but it shifts the focus to what unites you rather than divides.

Salvaging Relationships with Different Beliefs

Not every relationship can or should be salvaged, especially if values or beliefs conflict in harmful ways. However, if you want to preserve the relationship, consider these strategies:

1. Clarify the Relationship’s Purpose: Reflect on the relationship’s importance in your life. What are the goals? For close family or friends, the goal may be mutual support and companionship. For colleagues, it may simply be mutual respect. Clarifying the purpose helps guide how you engage or set boundaries.

2. Evaluate Both Needs: Relationships are a balance of your needs and theirs. Sharon McMahon highlights the value of assessing whether the relationship meets both people’s needs. For example, if you value respect and honesty, and your friend values loyalty and open dialogue, check if the relationship offers enough space to honor both needs.

3. Reframe the Conversation: Brené Brown suggests that instead of focusing on where you disagree, explore what you both value. If you share a love for family or community, try to frame conversations around those shared values. It can help make differences feel less polarizing and more manageable.

4. Consider Long-Term Compatibility: Some relationships may not align with your personal values or mental well-being. McMahon emphasizes that not all relationships need to last, and it’s okay to step back from relationships that no longer serve you. Think of it as making room for relationships that do align with your goals, values, and emotional health.

5. Focus on Respect, Not Agreement: If the relationship is one you’d like to keep, focus on respect rather than agreement. Remind yourself that while you may never agree on politics, respecting their humanity and personal beliefs can keep the relationship intact. Mel Robbins talks about finding peace in knowing you can still love and respect someone without agreeing with them on every issue.

When It’s Time to Move On

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we may find that a relationship is no longer compatible with our personal growth or well-being. If preserving it feels unhealthy or forced, give yourself permission to step away with kindness and respect. Taking a step back doesn’t mean the relationship is over forever—it simply allows you to honor your own needs in the present.

As you navigate conversations in the days following the election, remember that your mental health and peace are priorities. You can maintain respect without sacrificing your values or needs. Each choice you make—whether to engage, step back, or lean into common ground—reflects a commitment to honoring both yourself and those around you.

Final Thoughts

Election seasons are turbulent, and they also present opportunities to practice resilience, empathy, and respect. By setting boundaries, focusing on common ground, and approaching difficult conversations with care, we can manage our election-related stress and foster meaningful relationships—even with those who see the world differently. Remember, your peace matters, and so do the connections you choose to nurture.

References:

Brown, B. (2017). Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. Random House.

McMahon, S. (n.d.). Sharon Says So [Educational platform on civics and current events]. Retrieved from https://www.sharonsaysso.com

Robbins, M. (2017). The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage. Savio Republic.